I Quit Social Media for Lent

What Surprised Me Most About 40 Days Away From the Screen

I’m not against social media.

In fact, I rather enjoy it.

At best, when I’m plugged in, I feel charged up by learning from the greats, commenting on my friends’ milestones and molehills, and pushing my evolving brand farther and higher through experimentation, adaptation, and innovation.

I borrow. I imitate. I improvise. I put my “Anastasia spin” on things.

I don’t live for the likes, but I like the likes.

Social media has been the source of numerous real estate clients I’ve worked with over the past five years.

I’ve met people on social media from across the continent who have taught me how to self-publish a book, play blues on the electric guitar, and write a better Medium post.

Social media is where I get the most positive, encouraging feedback on my music, words, and insights.

So, I don’t hate social media. Not at all. Social media can be a mind-opener and a door-opener.

That being said, what surprised me most about taking 40 days away from social media is how much I liked life without it.

Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall

Social media, for better or for worse, is a kind of mirror we gaze into.

We gaze into this mirror each time we post, and reactions and comments are reflected back to us.

Everything we read and see affects our self-image in some way. How we relate to the external world and how we relate to our “self” is influenced by the posts and ads we see on social media.

Social media participation can be strangely comforting, like the mirror in your bathroom where you can check out your hair or outfit.

During the first few weeks, I felt a bit antsy without the mirror of social media.

If something notable happened or I finished a project and didn’t share it on social media, did it even matter? Did it even happen?

And what about the people in my sphere? What are they doing? What am I missing out on learning about them?

I wasn’t getting the feed of social information I’d been unconsciously using to reinforce my self-image.

Who am I without the mirror of social media?

Most interestingly, I also felt a bit rude or irresponsible, not showing up for my online friends and potential clients.

Will people forget about me? Will my business tank? Will people think I think I’m better than them?

I realized it is precisely this preoccupation with how other people perceive me that is stressful about social media.

Try as I might to surrender my ego and say other people’s perception of me is inconsequential, it’s an evolutionary imperative to want to be valued by the human tribe. It’s ingrained in us.

Our friends and connections on social media are our human tribe. And we want to fit in.

I realized that when I am active on social media daily, part of me is always, on some level, performing or preparing to perform.

When I use social media daily, my subconscious is playing this tape:

What will I post today? When can I fit in time to respond to comments on this post? How can I be on point enough to be relevant but quirky enough to grab interest?

It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it can contribute to a sort of restlessness. It’s something to be aware of.

Deep Reflection

By the second half of Lent, social media provoked restlessness, and preoccupation with my self-image had faded away completely. What a gift!

I started going into meditative and prayerful states at random moments throughout the day. If someone had seen me, it would have looked like I was staring into space.

But I was going deep. Much deeper than usual.

Having broken the habit of social media, I felt rather peaceful. There was no inner tug-of-war. I felt very Zen.

I was more present to my husband and kids. I was more present to the beauty of nature. I could pay better attention when I opened up a book to read, and I read quite a few. Without social media competing for my attention, reading a book became quite an exquisite luxury.

It was simple. It was good.

I had extra energy for writing long-form content because I wasn’t fatigued from publishing short-form blurbs and videos for various platforms throughout the day.

Living life as if social media didn’t exist meant I didn’t have to keep up with five different virtual reflections of “Anastasia Forrest.” A weight was lifted.

As I neared the end of the Lenten period, I wasn’t sure I wanted to return to social media. I was enjoying the simplicity of my modern-day hermit-like solitude.

I began to question whether spending the time and effort I had expended over the past years on social media was worth it.

Questions like these ran through my mind:

Is social media directly generating substantial income for my family? Will I ever have an “impressive” quantity of followers? Ultimately, will the time spent on social media be wasted if I never go viral?

Is social media making me more scattered with a pressured feeling that I need to do more, be more, and have more to be successful? Is this pressure negatively impacting my happiness? Can I run a successful real estate business and be creative without social media?

Is social media…a trap?

Motivation

I’ll best be honest; one thing that seemed to wane in me over my 40-day social media fast was motivation.

Before beginning the 40-Day period, I imagined I would be much more productive without social media. I wasn’t.

I didn’t feel as driven to be a visible success. Only a few people were watching anyway! What mattered most was my immediate sphere. My six-year-old doesn’t care whether or not my book about how to be a creative real estate agent is published in 2023. She just doesn’t.

Also, when feeling Zen, one is not necessarily in a hurry to disrupt that. Why struggle past resistance to accomplish unnecessary tasks when you feel so satisfied gazing at the birds weaving over the intracostal?

Without social media, the quality of my attention and overall life satisfaction improved in certain ways. However, having waves of motivation to accomplish tasks such as “finish my book” or “find coaching clients” was not a feature.

A Middle Way

I’m now a few days officially back in the social media saddle, and I don’t have the answers to all the questions my 40-day reflection provoked.

However, I have a renewed mission in my use of social media.

It’s got to be part of my “ministry.”

That’s an insight I received during Lent.

Social media can be a kind of service. An offering.

Showing up and shining light is something.

Vanity metics such as “likes” and the size of my following on Linked In aren’t accurate measures of my message’s value.

If I am to use the microphone and (really loud) amplifier that is social media, the path forward is clear:

I’ve got to stay in tune with the part of me that is Zen. The part of me that is connected to God. The part of me that is prompted by the Holy Spirit.

Then, and only then, can I hope to share a good and worthwhile message with my human tribe.

Sharing an inspired message is never a waste of time.